Prayers

You know you're not single anymore...when you wonder how in the world you lived life without your family...you know your world has turned upside down but you know that every change, every adjustment is making you a better person....you can't imagine life without your son and daughter...and your wife...you pray specifically for her protection and provision in all areas of her life: physically, emotionally, and spiritually...you realize the material things that once were important to you don't really matter at all because if you lose your family you lose everything...you are willing to lay down everything, including your life, for the sake and safety of your family...there is no sacrifice to you too great but there are some things you guard with all of your life: your purity, your fidelity to your wife, your integrity, and the honor of the family name...you pray that as the spiritual leader of your home, you wife will feel loved and protected, your daughter will one day receive a man who will do the same for her, your son will be able to follow your example in pursuing his future wife, and you will be able to serve the Lord with gladness for the rest of your life.

Lost Items

You know you're not single anymore...when once you put something down, you can't seem to remember where you last put it....but your wife has the uncanny ability to remember where everything is....you realize that the longer you're married, the more often you say things like "Honey, do you know where my jacket is?"..."Honey, do you know where my wallet is?"..."Honey, do you know what happened to my toothbrush?"...you think you used to be able to find stuff...like exactly where you last left it....but now it's almost impossible. You even begin to get suspicious that things are _not_ where you last left them...you wonder if this is your problem alone but you notice that your son cannot seem to remember where he left things, too...and yet your daughter knows where everything is...you begin to wonder if there is a female conspiracy to play mind tricks with males to keep us in a state of confusion.

Peace Skills

You know you're not single anymore...when every time you ride in the car you get to practice your negotiation skills at peace keeping between your children....you seriously wonder if car makers can create an alarm that would buzz every time one of your kids cross the "imaginary" line in the backseat to touch their sibling in some annoying way...you realize that there are universal truths:  1) No one ever started it...2) whoever gets the last touch without getting caught "wins"...3) the younger sibling always gets caught first....you think if you ever applied for the job as the Secretary of State for international peacekeeping you could use "parental experience" on your job resume.

Jealous Dog

You know you're not single anymore...when your dog of 11 years has become jealous of your new family. He literally ignores and looks away when your wife speaks to him...but at times you do feel for him...His world has been turned upside down...no longer can he jump on the bed in the middle of the day when no one is around...no longer does he even sleep in your room (but a nice consolation is sleeping in your son's room)...you do notice that he never had issues with gas before, but now he's the master at planting "silent but deadly" bombs as he walks through a room...ah, revenge by a dog must be sweet. You wonder if he thinks "I've got them this time!" every time he walks by.

Daughter Dates

You know you're not single anymore....when once a week you take your 14 year old daughter on a mini-date at Starbucks. You spend an hour catching up with the social interactions of her world, her friends, her music, her dreams. You remind her that when she starts dating at age ummm 30, the guy must meet your standards for her and he will be reminded that we do have guns in the household....She laughs, but in reality you do think about how you would do anything to protect her heart. You pray that you can model through your relationship with your wife how she should expect her future husband to treat her. In the end you realize that one of the greatest blessings of your new life is the relationship you are building with your daughter.

Debates

You know you're not single anymore...when your 12 year old son debates almost everything you say...but a week later you hear him using your points to debate your side of the issue to his sister...you realize he is learning how to think critically when he talks with you...you also notice that he is picking up some of your habits...that he's starting to like the foods you like and the stuff you like to do...that recently he borrows your shampoo and body wash not because he's out of his own but he says "I want the manly shampoo" and when he comes out of the bathroom later he says "I'm starting to smell like you!"...you know then that you are quickly rising the ladder of being one of the top male influences in this boy's life...you are humbled and you pray that you can be the mentor and guide that he needs at this time in his life...you know that his eyes are always watching you and the accountability is great but that you are making an impression in a boy that is influencing the type of man he will become.

Radio Stations

You know you're not single anymore....when you don't remember the last time you listened to your music on the car radio. In fact your pre-set stations have already been changed to the tastes of the younger generation... Your kids even call "shot-gun" not so they can converse with you but so that they can control the radio station...in which case you are constantly fighting with the volume control that seems to be creeping up as songs continue...you do realize you are getting a crash course lesson in the music styles of the day but you secretly dream of the day when your children drive and you change their radio station to the greatest hits of the 80s!

Breakfast Blues

You know you're not single anymore....when your wife is out of town so you have grand plans to fix breakfast for the kids...pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. Except you soon realize you are recreating the scenes from Kramer vs Kramer or Mr.Mom. The first batch of eggs were undercooked...the second batch were overcooked. Not sure what went wrong with the bacon ...but even the dog turned his nose up at it. At least the pancakes turned out well so the kids had an extra one each which means there wasn't enough for me....back to a bowl of Cheerios for me! Hopefully the kitchen will smell right again before Joy comes back home!

Recycling

You know you're not single anymore...when issues like recycling used to be a big deal to you...now you feel "ain't nobody got time for dat!"...practically speaking you used to be able to run to the recycling center every 6 weeks for all of your trash that could be recycled...now you would potentially be running there every two days. It's not that you don't care anymore, it's just not the priority of your time anymore...instead it's more important to solve family emergencies...like where the heck did the remote control go to?!?

Grocery Prices

You know you're not single anymore...when you discover that you are starting to know the price of groceries at different stores. You realize that you are even more aware of the cost of milk and bread because you seem to pick it up almost daily after work. You used to care about getting top-grade organic milk...but now you get the biggest jug of 2% at the cheapest price....Did I mention there's a special at Ingles this week?... Even recently you discover there's a store called Aldi's and you actually did a celebration dance when you walked out. You figure that if you can find a way to save 15 cents on each purchase of milk and bread, that you will be able to splurge and purchase a Snicker's bar for yourself by the end of the week. That's how you keep to the budget!

A Nice Suprise

You know you're not single anymore...when your wife was first cleaning out the kitchen she suddenly lets out a squeal and you run into the kitchen and see her looking at a box the same way Indiana Jones looked at that statue at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark..."What is it?," I asked..."A CROCK POT!"...oh yes, now you remember receiving that box as a house warming gift twelve years ago and tucking it away for use at a better time..."What's it good for?"..."You'll see."...sure enough, every day the house is filled with such heavenly aromas that even Rachael Ray would be jealous...you and your dog now stay in a constant state of salivation... the only difference is you are the one who doesn't drool.

Bedtime Process

You know you're not single anymore ... when the process of getting ready for bed starts the moment dinner is over. You used to call dinner time mid-day but now it's the beginning of the end of the day. You now have a two- hour routine which consists of overseeing whether everyone has taken their baths, brushed their teeth...with toothpaste this time, gotten their glass of water, tucked themselves in their bed, done nightly devotions with them, given hugs and kisses, and closed the door just right so the light from the hall still shines into the room. After that, you think you can stay up late like you used to....but no...you realize you're ready to crash and everything else can wait until the next day. Life is good but you can't wait until Sunday when you can sleep an extra hour before getting ready for church...which is why you feel so robbed on Spring Daylight Saving changeover Sunday!

Fashion Sense

You know you're not single anymore...when the tie you've always worn with a specific shirt gets vetoed and a tie you've never even considered gets picked by your wife...then you get no less than 10 compliments at church for the tie your wife has picked for you...You realize you've been out of fashion for at least ten years...especially when cleaning out your closet, your wife subconsciously hums greatest hits from the 90's....time for a new wardrobe.

Coffee Maker

You know you're not single anymore....when the first thing you do when you wake up is go make coffee even when you are not a coffee drinker. It doesn't take long to remember 4 scoops and 6 cups. You realize if you do this faithfully, you have a happy wife in the morning!

Baseball

You know you're not single anymore....when someone asks you what your plans are for the weekend and there's only one reasonable answer: "baseball". You realize you are now living, working, hanging out at the baseball fields since practice is every other night....you wonder how the Atlanta Braves would play if they had the same commitment as Little League! And when did baseball become so expensive? You realize stock in Sports Authority is a good idea since every parent has to max out their credit card at the beginning of the sports seasons!

Kids Going To Work With You

You know you're not single anymore....when your kids ask the night before if they can go to work with you and you remind them that they would have to get up at 6:30 AM and they willingly say "ok"...you then think to yourself about the millions of dads who would do anything for their kids to show interest in their work...and the millions of children who would do anything to go with their dads to work...and you realize how blessed you truly are.....you realize also how much your kids have longed to have a "father" to go to work with...and how much you have longed to have children to take to work. You are humbled and thank God for what He has done in your family.

DVR

You know you're not single anymore...when you begin to realize you might never watch your shows on tv again. You used to DVR your shows and watch them within a day or two. Now, you find your DVR filling up and you don't know when you will watch your shows. And every time you walk by the tv, someone is watching their favorite show. Your final resort is to reserve the tv using the family calendar. Fortunately there is an opening on the calendar in 3 weeks and 4 days from now.

Dirty Clothes

You know you're not single anymore...when you used to have a system of dirty clothes: stack 1) clean and folded - but has not made it to the closet or clothes chest; stack 2) worn once, still looks clean, passes smell test: will be worn again if run out of clean clothes; stack 3) dirty, needs to be washed; stack 4) whites waiting for critical mass to be washed most likely in the next month. 

But now you have the following system: stack 1) It ain't on a hanger or in the drawer, it must be dirty. Period. All clothes that fall in this category immediately go into the hamper. In fact, there may be a vortex or a clothes black hole in my room...the second I take off a clothes item and lay it down, I blink and it's gone. "Honey, where did my khakis go to that I was wearing today at work? I just laid them down on the chair. I was planning on wearing those again tomorrow." Answer: "If it ain't on a hanger or in the drawer, it must be dirty." Into the black hole they must have gone...

Moving Out Your Junk

You know you're not single anymore...when your children come in and ask if they can move your stuff out of their new rooms...fair enough; I wouldn't want my parents' stuff in my room either...then you look up and in 12 minutes, your entire life is spread out in the den...finally, your son walks in and says "we've moved all your 'junk' out of our rooms" and you realize that he's currently carrying your framed college diplomas. Well, there you have it. Your wife looks at you and in consolation says, "it's ok, I'll box all of it up and put it in the garage." But in the end, you _are_ ok, because you are truly experiencing a new beginning... and a grand one at that!

Hot Showers

You know you're not single anymore . . . when the only way you get a hot shower is to be the first one to wake up in the morning! Otherwise, you get used to lukewarm water in the evening. With the washing machine running 12 hours per day and the dishwasher running the remaining daylight hours, I'm surprised that Rockdale Water Resources has not come out to see if there is a water leak at the house by the amount of consumption!

AirWicks

You know you're not single anymore...when every room in your house smells like flowers, febreze, and fresh rain...and how is that? Through a little invention called an AirWick. Seems like the reason there were so many outlets in my house were because they were designed to be filled with AirWicks. Never knew that every outlet was meant to be filled up!

Garbage

You know you're not single anymore...when you used to fill up your kitchen garbage can every two weeks...and now it fills up about every two hours. Where does all this trash come from??? And didn't we just buy a gallon of milk yesterday? Where did that go to?

Bath Towels

You know you're not single anymore....when your favorite bath towel you used for 10 years is now the towel used under the kitchen plants...a nice consolation though is you get a brand new store-bought towel #feelslikeChristmasinFebruary

Missing Snacks

You know you're not single anymore...when you go to the grocery store and buy several yummy after work snacks for yourself and then come home and realize _all_ of the snacks have been eaten while you were gone to work and your pre-teen son says "well, you didn't have your name on them!" Indeed, I am now investing in sharpie markers!