House Cleaning

You know you're not single anymore...when your first day of summer is spent cleaning the house with your family...It's not that the house is particularly dirty, but it's that everything went on pause the last week of school and didn't get put away...You remember when you used to have summer vacation and you took the first two days of summer just vegging and watching movies...But now everything must stay in order and a clean house is a sign of godliness...at least that's what you've heard.

She's Right

You know you're not single anymore...when you have finally realized that your wife is always right no matter what...You understand that she will always have the best memory between the two of you and there's no point in stating otherwise...You also know that her interests are your best interests and that she looks out for your best interests...So you trust her with the color tie she helps you pick on Sunday morning...and when you should get a haircut...and when you need to pick up some candy for your daughter who might have had a rough day but you never knew it...You understand that your wife sees things you don't see, including things you may be blind to about yourself...so you choose to acknowledge and trust her because you are a better person because of her.

Award's Day

You know you're not single anymore...when you get a letter that your son will be receiving an award on award's day at school and you start figuring out a way to get off work to be there...You are curious though when your son has only been enrolled for three weeks...maybe Perfect Attendance for 12 days is enough for an award...In either case, you will take it for what it is...an opportunity to brag on your progeny...You also figure it will take most of the morning before they get to your son's name so you might be gone from work for quite some time!

School Lunch

You know you're not single anymore...when you find out your son ate three lunches today and all three lunches came from his lunch account at school...You realize that his bill cleaned out the remainder of his week's allowance...He says they don't feed him as much as he should be getting, which may be true...but you also don't want to be paying for three people just for his appetite...In the end you encourage him to choose wisely and eat responsibly and let him know that a meal and a half is more than sufficient!

Schedule

You know you're not single anymore...when you spend most of your week thinking about what you are going to do with your family on the weekend...Of course that means navigating through the schedule of ball practices, jobs, meetings, down time, chores, visits, and appointments...And after that, finding activities that everyone enjoys...You think of how complicated life is scheduling a family of four...and then you think of Octomom and your life feels much simpler...You may not have a tv show hanging around you, but your life is always just as interesting as if it was on tv!

Cellphone

You know you're not single anymore...when your daughter accidentally gets her cellphone wet and you spend all weekend trying to resuscitate the phone...You know how much those phones cost and it's worth every bag of rice and trick under the sun to get the water out of the phone...In the end, you see that the red mark of death is on both the battery and the phone and you hold a funeral service...You can even faintly hear the sound of taps playing...Your daughter is so excited when you order her a new phone that will be delivered in a week...she was not as excited when you gave her the replacement bill for the phone though.